I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize