lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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