Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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