So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
