sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm experimenting with sincerity
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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