Dual....:-)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Found your dick twin last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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