It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
