I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
