I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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