I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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