mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
