hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
