so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
