I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
