How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
