Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Green mimosas i think yes
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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