hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
