As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize