just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
