Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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