just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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