Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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