Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
