If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
