You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
