I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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