so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sext me about skeletons
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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