just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
