Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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