Will you blow on my dice?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
