I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
