I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
