Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
