I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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