While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
