Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
