Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we made out on top of his cat.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
