Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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