My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
