You just made me feel so damn special
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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