I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wanna go halves on a baby?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just threw up on my dentist
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
