Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
