Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
