week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize