I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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