she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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