oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
