i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
