On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize