Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
