But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
