just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
