Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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