i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
