why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
