WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
