school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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