Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
