Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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