I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
