Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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