I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
