Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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