You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
do herpes really smell.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
