Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
