In the future we'll all be gay
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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