There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize