You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
