i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
